Warning: One of the pictures below is NSFW (Not Safe For Work). It’s a girl in a bikini. So, there you go, you were warned.

To the Designers/Engineers who have created MedTech, Wheeled Coach, International, Pierce, American LeFrance and other Ambulance/Fire Engine manufactures:

Hello! My name is Medic Trommashere. I have been riding around in your lovely vehicles for almost a decade now, and as a devoted user, I figured I could offer some friendly advice from a real life consumer.

Firstly, contrary to popular belief, your target demographic does not look like this:

Or this:

Or even this:

We come in various body sizes, especially height. Now. I am not exactly model height, hell, I still get called Munchkin, but it can get a little complicated trying to climb into the back of an Ambulance where the little tail step of the truck is nearly eye level with my chest. I am not saying there is anything wrong with your wonderful products, but a little consideration to those less fortunate with height would be a great thing. Either an extra step or some good rock climbing equipment would be great…jus’ sayin’.

Also, to facilitate easier movement within the ambulance, a larger opening between the cab and the box would be great. I find that to be a good escape route when my, “he’s so quiet, he wouldn’t hurt a fly…” psych patient decides to rip off the arm rest on the Stryker stretcher and tries to bludgeon me with it, calling himself “The Caveman” and wants to take his bride back to the cave. Some days, my size 16 hips won’t fit through the aptly named ‘birth canal’ with a radio, Leatherman holster, and Trauma Shears (The pink kind)strapped to my belt.

Lastly, can we get some more padding on those lovely corners of cabinets? I’m not sure how you test to see what happens when an appendage (usually the Occipital lobe or the not-so-funny end of the humerous) slam into one of those corners after a car decides to stop within three feet of the front of the ambulance while we’re coding at a safe velocity (Read: So much faster than the posted speed limit that if my boss ever found out, he’d rehire me just to fire me for how fast we were going). I got a black eye so bad one time, the hospital we arrived at thought I had gotten beaten up by the patient. Those corners hurt like there’s no tomorrow. So, I would like to recommend the following adjustments.

This:

Or this:

Just because we like Traumatic Injuries doesn’t mean we want to have one.

All in all, I have no complaints about your wonderful products. They get me from point A to point B REALLY fast and I get to look cool doing it. Thank you for your hard work and dedication to your craft.

Sincerely,
M. Trommashere.

PS: MedTech…you gotta really work on that electrical system issue…having the entire box of the ambulance turn off including the main board suction while I’m using it really bites.

PPS: American LeFrance and Pierce; Big props for the little steps you can fold down so short people like me can get up in the hose bed or just get stuff from up high.

Have Fun and Be Safe!

Side note: I am and will address comments in a post fashion. I want to be able to bring attention to the comments/questions, and be able to give a well thought out and appropriate answer/response. Keep the comments coming! Thank you!

Murphquake: I looked into going to NYC before I moved where I did. They do not honor the NREMT other than not making you go through your Paramedic class. I would have had to take a 3 month program, then jump through even more hoops just to possibly get a job there. The sad part is, at least the way it was described to me by your EMS council, was that after I took all those classes, I’d have to live in NY for at least 3 months before I could apply for a job. Needless to say, I wasn’t going to move somewhere where, even after jumping through the hoops, I wasn’t guarenteed employment. Homie don’t play that game.

The Happy Medic: Tell AD I said hello and thank you for stopping by. I have to agree with you, but at the same time, the NR sucks people in by telling them that this craziness won’t happen if they take the test. I probably still would have gotten my NR in any case…don’t feel like going through medic class again, but I would have been better prepared if I would’ve known what each state requires past the NR. A lot of people in my class have experienced the same thing. In the state where I’m from, you don’t need the NR; you have to take it just out of Medic School to satisfy being accredited through the NR, but you don’t have to stay NR to work. Most other states, except Ohio, which is where the NR is based out of, make you take a crap ton of exams and other tests/interviews even before anything else happens.

Lizzie: As far as my research has shown, most states accept the registry, but still make you go through classes/tests before you can practice. Some locations have border state resciprocity that would allow you to transfer over just because of the state you lived in. Problem with that is, it usually comes down to the bordering counties, the ones that touch the other state directly. Ohio is one of the states that I can speak of because of direct knowledge, that transfers the NR easily. You take a simple protocol test; they have some drugs that most states don’t, and that’s it. West Virginia is another one. I could’ve moved to WV and all I had to do was sign on with a service, send in a form asking for WV numbers, and within a few days, would’ve been a WV Medic, few questions asked.

All in all, the system as a whole is flawed. I believe that, for a state to say they conform to the NR, they should grant licensure/certification with minimal hoops to jump through. I am understanding of a protocol exam; not knocking that from ANY state. I can even see a skills review. Coming from a state that does not allow surgical crichothyroidotomies, moving to one that does, I am understanding of sitting down with a Command Physician to show them that I am proficient in that skill.

But telling a Paramedic who has worked their ass off for a year, in upwards of three or four, that to even apply for a job, they have to jump through more hoops than Shamu at Sea World is ridiculous. If the NR is to continue, I believe they need to mandate some serious changes across the board. My thought is; if you as a state want to continue to be in the NR, then they must create a written protocol test and/or a practical exam, and that is the only test used for incomming medics and EMT’s. If not, then they can do all the frivolous testing they want, but they can’t require someone to be Nationally Registered if they are not going to accept it for all it’s worth.

Thank you everyone for your comments! I believe that, the only way to make positive changes in our chosen profession is to have dialogues like this, to fuel ideas and create new ones. I’m glad you all have stopped by my little slice of paradise, and I can’t wait to hear more from you! You guys were wonderful! Thank you to Lizzie, The Happy Medic, and Murphquake for your wonderful comments!

Have fun and Be Safe!